I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
