..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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