so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
