we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
