let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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