I will die if light touches me.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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