No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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