so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
