I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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