At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Me too!
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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