the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Drunk is not a location!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
