And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Let's get the cat blown out
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
