well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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