Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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