Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
