I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
