Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Randomize
