I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
