Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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