I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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