What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
