Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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