I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
