I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
