you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
