Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
