She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
