hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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