the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
