whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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