I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
