My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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