Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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