Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
