oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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