I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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