we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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