do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
