i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
