mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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