I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
