So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
