Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she told me i tasted like america
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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