If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Found the puke drawer
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
