Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
