So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
