I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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