Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
