just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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