I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
