"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
