I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
