"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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