He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
