I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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