Betty ford says i'm here all night
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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