but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
